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10 valentine's things that have gotta stop... and a few that have gotta keep on truckin'

It has been about a week since Valentine's Day and there are some things that have just gotta stop.

10. Reposts on facebook of art and poetry.
People of the world do you know what would be great? If your loved one created his or her own love letter to share on fb not a repost or share of somebody else's (yeah even Shakespeare)
I will write my own to  show you how easy it is

Roses are funky
Violets are nice
Let's make like monkey(s)
And pick off our lice

9. Couple anythings
Couple shirts
Couple shoes
Couple hats
Couple whatevers
Stop... just stop

8. Bouquets of wannabe roses
Roses are a classic (I'll deal with them next) but what the heck is with pretend roses.
Bouquet of muffin roses
Bouquet of chocolate roses
Bouquet of organic brussel sprout ROSES

Classics are classics for a reason people!

6. Roses (I told you)
Can y'all pick a new flower? How about hyacinths? Of lily of the valley? Maybe a flowering cacti for a change?
And what's the deal with all the colours?

5. Love songs
These days love songs have more to do with grinding and clubbing and hooks then nice melodies and silly love songs (awww Sir Paul)
You wanna love me like a love song baby but that just means we will do that same thing over and over with a catchy beat. Wait...

4. Rom-coms
The term has to go... we are done here

3. Forced paired dining
Ever been to a nice little restaurant on VD? Well good chance the owner had a great idea: couple meals! It's genius now everyone one is forced to dine by two and the world will be mine (cackling madly)

2. Cards
The only card I would like to get would be one addressed to someone else. Why do I need an occasion to write my special someone? Shouldn't I do that everyday? Wouldn't texting be better? Hell sexting would be way better.

1. Price gouging
Holy spitfire! You are hitched up! Congrats dude Ima gonna sing that get lucky song for you while I charge you double for this cake cuzzzz it has this cinnamon heart on it.
Do what I do everyone... buy heart shaped crap at halloween no one is thinking VD then!

What should stay?

1. Home cooked meals
No better way to say I love you then with an ineptly crafted red velvet cake. Gents the uglier it looks and the more burns you get the better you look... stock up on imodium though if you are not skillful.

2. David Bowie's song "Valentine's Day"
Just buy his CD already

3. Stuff from your kids
That macaroni heart card with the waaaaay too much glitter... keep it... treasure it... that is the most genuine gift you will get on Feb 14th

Well that is all I have got for now... agree? Disagree? Got a couple thong set let me know!


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