Skip to main content

10 valentine's things that have gotta stop... and a few that have gotta keep on truckin'

It has been about a week since Valentine's Day and there are some things that have just gotta stop.

10. Reposts on facebook of art and poetry.
People of the world do you know what would be great? If your loved one created his or her own love letter to share on fb not a repost or share of somebody else's (yeah even Shakespeare)
I will write my own to  show you how easy it is

Roses are funky
Violets are nice
Let's make like monkey(s)
And pick off our lice

9. Couple anythings
Couple shirts
Couple shoes
Couple hats
Couple whatevers
Stop... just stop

8. Bouquets of wannabe roses
Roses are a classic (I'll deal with them next) but what the heck is with pretend roses.
Bouquet of muffin roses
Bouquet of chocolate roses
Bouquet of organic brussel sprout ROSES

Classics are classics for a reason people!

6. Roses (I told you)
Can y'all pick a new flower? How about hyacinths? Of lily of the valley? Maybe a flowering cacti for a change?
And what's the deal with all the colours?

5. Love songs
These days love songs have more to do with grinding and clubbing and hooks then nice melodies and silly love songs (awww Sir Paul)
You wanna love me like a love song baby but that just means we will do that same thing over and over with a catchy beat. Wait...

4. Rom-coms
The term has to go... we are done here

3. Forced paired dining
Ever been to a nice little restaurant on VD? Well good chance the owner had a great idea: couple meals! It's genius now everyone one is forced to dine by two and the world will be mine (cackling madly)

2. Cards
The only card I would like to get would be one addressed to someone else. Why do I need an occasion to write my special someone? Shouldn't I do that everyday? Wouldn't texting be better? Hell sexting would be way better.

1. Price gouging
Holy spitfire! You are hitched up! Congrats dude Ima gonna sing that get lucky song for you while I charge you double for this cake cuzzzz it has this cinnamon heart on it.
Do what I do everyone... buy heart shaped crap at halloween no one is thinking VD then!

What should stay?

1. Home cooked meals
No better way to say I love you then with an ineptly crafted red velvet cake. Gents the uglier it looks and the more burns you get the better you look... stock up on imodium though if you are not skillful.

2. David Bowie's song "Valentine's Day"
Just buy his CD already

3. Stuff from your kids
That macaroni heart card with the waaaaay too much glitter... keep it... treasure it... that is the most genuine gift you will get on Feb 14th

Well that is all I have got for now... agree? Disagree? Got a couple thong set let me know!


Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

ESL Writing Tips - Paragraph Structuring

I've been working on some writing materials for a course I am supposed to be teaching next week, so I thought I would get the ball rolling by making a post about basic paragraph structuring. What is a paragraph? The most basic thing to learn when tackling writing a paragraph is to understand the relationship between the components and understand the definition of a paragraph. Our end result is the paragraph but before that we must have some sentences, those sentences are made up of words, those words come from ideas, and hopefully our ideas have a theme or topic. To sum up a paragraph is a bunch of words on on topic organised into a series of sentences. Simple right?  What are the parts of a paragraph? So glad I asked because I have a picture just for this: So Informative Many learners do not pay close enough attention to the impact that a good topic sentence can have. In order to have a good topic sentence you must ensure that you have indeed made a logica...
12 comments
Read more

Urbanfresh at Setia City Mall

I recently made the unfathomable trip from my home to Setia City Mall in Setia Alam Malaysia. I was, of course, in search of interesting shopping and imported food. Some background. For those of you living in Setia Alam congrats on picking a beautiful place to live; however, my condolences as you all live in the bloody boonies!  Setia City is an INCREDIBLY nice mall with a fine selection of shops and F&B outlets, but unfortunately no game stores or Chilis (TGIFridays? Really? Ugh.) I stumbled upon a grocery store that looked quite up-scale and my import sense started tingling. What a classy place with words like Urban and fresh right in the name it must be good. The pillar says "fresh food" for seal's sake so come on! They had this interesting apple display going on at the front of the store.  This is actually a cardboard tree with apples all around it. It is a neat idea... I just hope the apples didn't grow on cardboard! The fresh fruit and veg...
1 comment
Read more

Like a g-wrap like a g-wrap A review of McDonald's G-wrap

With great zeal and enthusiasm I marched to my local McD's here in Malaysia eager to try the newest taste sensation - the G-wrap.  The G-wrap gets its 'g' from its evil step-brother the GCB.  If you are outside Malaysia or just not up on your fast food (for shame) the GCB is a Grilled Chicken Burger. Basically they take the fattiest part of the chicken(the thigh) slather it in oil, griddle it in more oil, then leave the soggy chicken skin on (for added oil). The uhhh succulent 'grilled' to perfection chicken is thrown on a sesame seed bun with some garlicy secret GCB sauce and a salad mix (lettuce, carrots, leaves).  If that wasn't 'gud' enough they jumped on the wrap bandwagon (they get things late here) with the G-wrap. So what is a G-Wrap? Its the GCB in a wrap instead of a bun and it costs a little more. Why does it cost more? Why, because fat idiots like me want to write review blogs! If you like the GCB you will like the G-wrap. Soo please stop r...
2 comments
Read more